Mount LeConte – GringoPotpourri

Four Grains of Rice

The above picture, taken peak-pandemic, circa April, 2021, finds your favorite gringo blogger struggling to wake up and greet the day. Post-morning fart, with noteworthy bedhead and spectacular beardage courtesy of local hair salons being shuttered due to coronavirus, I blearily imbibe coffee. I don’t recall what prompted me to stage this photo, but I remember those uncertain months and that very, very long spring, when hoarding toilet paper became a stock-in-trade and when hand sanitizer was seemingly more valuable than a pot of gold.

Fast forward a little more than five years, and no one talks about the pandemic anymore—almost as if it never happened. As for yours truly, I’ve moved to Knoxville and am five months into a new job with a company that genuinely values its employees. I still have that bathrobe and coffee mug, as well as the facial hair. The beard is less unkempt, though speckled with lots of gray. Beneath each eye: matching crow’s feet, or laugh lines, if you will.

Also, I’m two inches shorter than I was when this picture was taken.

Lucky to be Alive

This is Mount LeConte. The third-highest peak in Great Smoky Mountains National Park, its summit lodge and unrestricted views attract thousands of hearty hikers each year. There are five routes to the top, each of varying degrees of difficulty. Even the easiest and most popular of the bunch, Alum Cave, is no mere walk in the park.

On Monday, September 9, the weather forecast was ideal: 70 degrees along the trail, 60 degrees at the summit, low humidity and nary a cloud in the sky. Knowing I had a new job waiting for me the following Monday, I woke up before dawn, printed out my parking permit, and made the one-hour drive to the Rainbow Falls parking lot, where the plan was to take the Rainbow Falls Trail up and either the Trillium Gap Trail or the Bullhead Trail down. I packed two bottles of Gatorade, two liters of water, and lots of trail food (beef sticks, pretzel sticks, honey stinger energy chews, trail mix). I bought a brownie at the LeConte Lodge store, topped off my water, and tightened my laces for the descent, deciding on the Bullhead Trail, which was roughly one-half mile longer than the Trillium Gap but which led directly to my starting parking lot, rather than to an additional connector trail that roughly paralleled the paved, Roaring Fork Motorway for 1.7 miles from the bottom of Trillium Gap to the bottom of Rainbow Falls.

It was late when I headed down, after 3:30 pm, so my choice of the shorter trail was the correct one, right? Seeing as I’m writing this with three broken bones, limited mobility in both arms, and a fresh forehead scar, I’d say I chose poorly.

Where the Heck Has the Gringo Been?!?!

¡Felices fiestas! Happy Holidays! It has nine months since my last blog post, and while I don’t exactly get a surplus of messages asking for more content, I figured those of you who consider yourself Loyal Readers may wonder what the heck I’ve been up to. The answer – that I’ve been up to quite a lot but also not much at all – may seem contradictory, so bear with me as I explain.